Excuse me while I go totally insane.

The replacement for my new computer is here. However, it's screwed up as well. It does not have a wireless card. It's set up for Ethernet cable instead.

Excuse me while I go courteously ballistic.

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Thank you for your patience.

"It's another tech support Thursday" is not as poetic as "it's another tequila sunrise", but it's accurate and painful.