Avoiding future confusion: a poll

This should really be a poll, but I'm not upgraded for it, so I'll just take responses in comments.

There are a couple things that I'm often tempted to text, but I hold off because I don't know if they'll be correctly understood.

1) If I type "Going to the store != a good idea right now"
...would you interpret this as "yes, go to the store" or "no, don't go to the store"?

2) If I write "I go to the movies iff someone asks me to go"
...would you interpret the iff as a typo?